MissIsGoode

I have to say that the past six months have gone incredibly fast considering I don't feel like much has happened. Sure I've graduated, passed my driving test and successfully got my first job post-univertsity but other than that we've been living a quiet life in a relatively dull village in the sticks of Nottinghamshire.

As many of you know from my previous 'Hotel of Mum and Dad' posts I'm living in a house with five fully grown adults, compared to life at university where I lived with only students and the rest of society was okay with the fact that we weren't associated with the adult world.

However, when you move back in with either yours or someone else's parents, you're part of the adult world, but never quite considered an adult. Sure they'll expect you to act like one, but by no means does that suggest you'll always be treated like one.

So, what's it really like living with parents post-university?

They'll forget your age

Parents tend to treat their children like children no matter their age, but it's exacerbated when you actually live within their four walls. After family visits you can pretty much forget about parents telling you to 'be careful', 'stay safe' and all those other concerns that make you feel about five again. On the other hand, when you're living under their roof there's pretty much a constant concern for your wellbeing as if you're a teenager gallavanting around the place with the motto of YOLO.

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They'll also forget your life experience

Cooked for yourself for three/four years? Doesn't matter. Lived on your own, paid bills, rent & had money in your account that you had responsibility for? Doesn't matter. Happily did your own washing without dying all your clothes? Doesn't matter. Got a degree? Doesn't matter.

All that matters to the parents is that you're under their roof and therefore, you're clearly in need of their guidance. You'll be told how to navigate a supermarket like you've never been in one before, how to cook pasta as though you didn't exist on it for the past three years of your life and how to separate your whites and darks as though your underwear was never supposed to be tinged pink (haven't they heard of colour catchers anyway?! - and we all make mistakes...like throwing our friends' bright red shorts in with our white underwear...obviously before I heard of colour catchers).

As I said, it doesn't matter. If they didn't teach you much life experience before university don't expect it now, and if they were happy doing things for you without hassling you to do it yourself, expect that to likely stay the same too.

They'll expect a few meals cooked for them

If it's not the parents making a joke about having a top notch meal served up by yours truly, it'll be another family member piping up about those culinary skills you must have gained whilst at university. They may not expect much from you, but I'm sure at least once they'll want some proof you didn't live on noodles and cheese alone...at least, to put your mother's worrying mind at rest.

They'll moan about you not doing anything, but won't let you do it anyway

Whilst they will berate your laziness they'll also take responsibility directly away from you. You may offer to do your own washing, but they'll still throw it in with everyone elses. You may offer to clean up after dinner but they'll insist it's fine, that they'll do it themselves.

But be careful my dear graduates, this is in part, a trap. They'll do these things for you, sure, but they'll also complain about how 'you never help out' and will never rememeber the million times that you offered.

They'll do a lot of things for you

I find this both a perk and and slightly frustrating, but perhaps I'm one of the few. Having dinner cooked for you every night sounds great, but I quite liked this part of university. I could have it whenever and could make whatever I wanted. When I fancy something in particular, I'm too late by the time I get home to request it or cook it for myself. It's helpful and means I have more time to relax in the evenings though, but it also adds to the feeling that you're still a child.

I won't complain about the fact all my washing is done for me because that was by far my least favourite chore.

You also don't appear to get harassed to hoover as often as you once did as a child. 

You'll appreciate it no matter how annoying you find all the things done for you, but realisitically, it can get a bit frustrating over time because you've lost all responsibility for the things that became a part of everyday life for you at university. 

They'll drop hints of you moving out

In my case, the openly want us to stay for as long as possible in order for us to save money but I think there's plenty of cases in which the family pose the question 'have you looked at any places yet?' as though you haven't got over £40,000 of debt, a half decent or less than decently paid job and also the rent you pay to them directly to juggle...how can you afford to rent a place of your own?!

The fact is, in most cases, you want to move out much more than they want you to. You've lived with friends for the past few years of your life and now you're back with the 'rents, your uni friends are more than likely further away than you want them to be and most of your nights are spent in your room because it's a chilled out environment up there that demands nothing from you...plus, you also probably have work in the morning.

You'll have to tell them where you're going and when you'll be home

I'm only 21 years old but my fingers and toes wouldn't be enough to count the amount of friends I've lost. I completely agree with the belief that losing friends shows that you are changing and/or growing up. I've left some people behind because I needed to take my life in a different direction, and occasionally it's been the case that people have left me behind because they could do better off without me. 

MissIsGoode

It's been a little while since I shared some of my experience of student life with you lovely lot for the obvious reason that I am no longer a student! But being a graduate doesn't mean I've forgotten what it's like to be one of you! So here are a few of the realities of student life and some advice that I think would have helped me through university had I known it beforehand: 

So first off, your student accommodation:

It really depends on how much you're able to fork out, and often you get what you pay for. In my first year I paid around £3,300 for an on campus room (which you can see in the photo to the right) with a washbasin in a block with 4 toilets, 2 showers, and a kitchen with 3 ovens, all pleasantly shared with about 30 people. In my second and third year I paid just over £3000 for a en-suite room with a double bed in a house shared with 6 people, with bills included except from electric (which is pretty pricey if I'm honest). It varies for everyone, so when you're looking into moving off campus make sure you get your contract checked over and that you understand what you're getting yourself into. Having bills included is often a godsend and can help avoid many house disputes.

My first year university room.

Societies are not for everyone. Personally, I never got myself really stuck into one for the reason nothing jumped out at me. I dabbled with the university magazine and joined the breast cancer charity team at Keele but I found, especially in third and second year, that it distracted me too much from all the work I had to do. I wish I had got more stuck in, but if I had I don't think my heart would have been in it. Everyone pushes you to join societies but if you really don't fancy any, don't feel the pressure to join one. 

Why did I never join the Quiditch team? Follow link for source.

House dynamics are always complex at uni. You get thrown in with a bunch of strangers and there's no saying how well you'll all get along. After only a few months you're then told to start searching for a house and decide who to live with. Sometimes, you'll regret the decision and other times you couldn't be happier with the people you choose. Once again it's different for everyone, and I can't say choose carefully because you never know what it's going to be like. When it comes to mess, bills and bin day rotas it may not always be dished out fairly and this can create tension. My advice is, take your time to think about who you're living with, be sure that you can get along with them and don't be surprised if, on occasions, there are a few little tiffs.

Netflix is probably going to be one of your biggest distractions and I'm not going to say don't get it,
because that'd be terrible advice. Just make sure you know your limits (I honestly don't) and that  your work doesn't suffer because of your Netflix binges!

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There's almost always something going on at uni. In terms of nights out there will always be someone up for one, and make the most of it all. You do have a decent amount of free time at uni and often it's so helpful to blow off steam. Uni can be pretty high pressure at times, with deadlines coming like a freight train, so take the opportunities to go out and enjoy spending time with your friends.

You'll experience plenty of money woes, but try not to let it really get you down and instead find a balance. When your loan comes in, don't blow it straight away. It may be tough but just attempt to budget as much as possible. Consider your overdraft a godsend too, but don't rely on it, just know it's there if you're a bit tight for money. Don't let money cause you to isolate yourself, and try not to let it constantly stress you out either. I've been stressed out by money an incredible amount of times, but I hate to let it get in the way of me having a good time with my friends too. Find places you can cut back, look for cheap used books on Amazon, don't splurge on expensive alcohol and food and don't buy things you really don't need. My advice when it comes to money and university life is to not let it control everything you do. Money kind of does make the world go round, and honestly you'll feel forever torn between saving and splurging. Just make sure you don't put yourself in the position of stressing out because you've spent it all too fast or stressing out because you've made your budget too tight. Back home it's awesome to have a job that will take you back during the holidays just to top up your funds and also, if there's a job you can get at uni consider all these points before getting one! I worked as a Student Ambassador during my final year and I never felt my job got in the way of my studies at all, I may have only earnt a few hundred from it but it gave me that bit extra and also added something impressive to my CV!

Know your limits. It's boring when people say that right? But with alcohol comes not only hilarious stories but horror stories too. Be careful on nights out, stick together and never leave your drink unattended. When you're out and about in a new place you've never been, try to go with people you know, or at least don't get so intoxicated you don't know what you're doing. Also, alcohol can have such a huge dent on your budget, and it's hard to control your spending when you're out. On more than one occasion I've found myself buying drinks for people as if I'm rolling in the dolla...but of course, I'm not.

Learn from your mistakes. When you mess up an essay, go see a tutor and find out what could be  have been done better. Your first year may not count, but I learnt the hard way that it's pretty good practice for your next few years at uni. If you know you're more likely to mess up an essay by doing it in the early hours of the morning, try harder to put time aside for it. Or, if you're constantly being distracted by things, try going Cold Turkey. I'd recommend learning from your mistakes in other areas of your life too, especially nights out!

Don't be surprised if you drift away from people. Some people do and others don't, it really depends on a number of things. You've got your friends at home who you may have known for years, but just like you a lot of them may have gone to university too, or some perhaps haven't and are still used to the same old life you knew before uni. Sometimes you can just drift apart as you change and grow up. When it comes to making friends at university, you may drift apart from them because you realise you didn't have as much in common as you first thought, or because your groups of friends vary and change. I've lost friends over the years throughout school and up to now, but I tend to remind myself that losing friends is a part of life and it just means you're all growing up into different people. Don't assume it'll happen though, because there's a chance you may not lose anyone along the way! Everyone is completely different!

Also, don't be surprised if you put on weight. It's not always just the crap eating at university that can contribute to your expanding waistline but often all those boozy nights too. I was underweight when I started university but putting on around 10lbs didn't look good on me! Enjoy yourself but remember to look after yourself too! Many people find that their uni years can really affect their eating habits long term, so don't let them get really bad because you'll find it very challenging to make your way back. When it comes to the alcohol, try to avoid fizzy drinks for mixers because they add an incredible amount of sugar to your diet, and it may be hard but try not to binge drink excessively. I may be a hypocrite because this advice is all from experiencing the exact things I'm advising you guys not to do! But learn from my mistakes! One thing that obviously contributed to my weight gain wasn't just the alcohol and bad eating, but also the lack of exercise. Exercise is a lot of effort for some people, but if you can find a cheap gym locally, frequently go for a jog or join a sports society it won't only help you keep those pounds from piling on but it also works wonders for stress and helps with motivation in other areas of life!

I hope this quite lengthy advise helps you guys learn a few things and take some advice into consideration. As I said this advice all comes from experience, and I do believe the easiest way to learn from things is by making your own mistakes but it's also nice to know that you're not the only one making them!

I hope university is as fun and memorable for all of you as much as it was for me, good luck!

MissIsGoode

I've tried various monthly features in the past that I've not managed to keep on top of, so I thought I'd start a new one that keeps things simple. Rather than rounding up all my instagram posts that many of you will have seen and (hopefully) liked on Instagram already, I thought I'd share the most important parts of my past month. 

So October marked my fifth month of living in Nottingham and my fourth month at work. 

At work I passed my probation - which I was well on track to pass from week one (not to toot my own horn or anything, but I've settled in pretty well). Whilst where I currently work isn't what I expected to be doing straight out of university, the money is rolling in and my experience of the working world is gathering up nicely.

Talking of tooting horns, I passed my driving test first time! I started learning to drive probably back in July - it feels so long ago now I can barely remember! I booked a test in advance in early September with the plan of moving it later down the line, but when I came to check for a later booking the earliest was December. I wasn't prepared for my test but by no means was I going to hold off for THAT long! I thought, why not? If I did fail at least I'd know what to expect from the test. And by some miracle, I passed! Chuffed doesn't cover it. 

I also had a couple of chances to revisit university this month too. Initially we'd all planned a meet up in Freshers' week to toast to the memories but of course, our new adult lives got in the way. Instead I chose to use a weekday off to return to Keele for a K2 Monday. We also decided to spend Halloween revisiting our university years and I do wish we hadn't in some ways.

I think revisiting university has made me feel pleased that I left when I did. Things change so rapidly there and as a graduate you're viewed differently. The bars are filled with unfamiliar faces and if you lose the few you do know, people seem to sense you are no longer one of them. And there's also a sense of superiority that you cannot help but have when you walk in the Student's Union. You know you've been there and done it all so you recognise how immature people are and whilst I've certainly had my fair share of messy nights I'm now happy they are behind me. 

Lastly, one of our pet fish died - see how thrilling graduate life is? We don't know what caused his/her death but it sent another of the fish into a deep depression and it was a bit touch and go of whether the other was going to pull through. Thankfully all the surviving fish are thriving and happy in their home now, but RIP to our little fishy. 

Otherwise, October was a simple month of saving the pennies and working 9-5 as usual!

How was your October?

MissIsGoode

You'll be surprised at how fast the time comes for you to start thinking about your living arrangements for next year. By December of my first year we knew a lot of people who had already put their deposits down for a place they wouldn't live in for potentially another 9 months. It sounds pretty crazy, but the good places get snapped up fast. Now finding a place at Keele wasn't relatively complicated, they held a great housing fair in which you got to meet local landlords and agencies, and they also have a site dedicated to local student housing in the area.

I'm not sure what it's like for other universities around the country so I feel that's where Weroom could potentially come in, it's a platform that I really like the sound - and look - of. It's a database where you can list your spare room or find one to move into. Realistically, this is a place to go if you're on your own. From my searches in local areas it's often only one spare room up for grabs, so if you've had trouble finding a place with friends or, like many did at Keele, couldn't find a place to crash upon their return from studying abroad, then I think this is a brilliant site to turn to. 

The site is relatively easy to make your way around. Above you can see the first page before you become a member, here you can search for places to live but only for so long before it prompts you to become a member. Below is the screen you see upon becoming a member. It's bold and simple and once again, easy to find your way around. The best bit? Listing your property and making your account are both free. 

As you can see in the above screenshot, you get to create your own profile. It's like a social media space specifically for flatshares, which I think is great! You can add a description about yourself, activities and education, any languages you speak and you can also import your LinkedIn Data - though that's more for the soon-to-be and graduates among us! If you set a location the 'News' tab will keep you updated with any new listings and all those that are current too. You can easily make bookings and send enquiries to potential flat shares and I feel like it's much more practical than trawling paper ads or visiting agencies. 

Simple or what? Your criteria can be your location, distances around this location as well as the amount you're willing to spend on rent.

Via your profile you also have the opportunity to list any more specific requirements or details about yourself:

·         43% of people were renting as students when they experienced deposit disputes

·         60% of 18-24 year olds want to see letting agents fees banned

·         53% of 18-24 year olds said they experienced a dispute because of property damage that was not the fault of anyone they lived with

·         35% of 18-24 year olds experienced a dispute because of the landlord not maintaining the property adequately

·         33% of 18-24 year olds ‘give in’ to avoid confrontation

·         40% of students are aware of their rights as tenants

MissIsGoode