This is it. You've spent almost the entire year working on the biggest project you've ever done in your life, and once this is handed over, you're just weeks away from finishing your degree. So how did you feel the moment that you gave your dissertation over to the hands of the markers? This is pretty much how it went down...

The process of tidying up your dissertation begins, a few grammatical changes there, some sentence structuring here and it's done. But your word count is over. You need to cut it down, but you can't bear to read it over once more. What if you have to take an entire paragraph out?! What if you have to risk the sentence structure?! What if you ruin it all...

Okay, pull yourself together. You're in the word count now. The contents page is accurate, you've got all the information on the front cover you need. Oh lord what about the bibliography? Are you certain that you've got every single one of your references on that list? ARE YOU SURE?

Relax. It's time to head to the library and get it printed. It's a battle for space - you're more than willing to fight someone for a computer. Okay, you've found one, now breath. You've backed it up right? Yeah of course you have. 500 times no doubt. High quality paper, let's be fancy. Now, press that little button without showing that you're terrified...it's just printing a normal piece of work. Think calm thoughts.

Shit. You've printed it double sided. Will this be acceptable? Will they slay you for saving the planet because you used less paper and somehow made it more complex to read. WHAT? Are they serious you HAVE to have it single sided? What are you paying £9,000 for. Great. You now have four copies of you dissertation in hand. Really appreciated. 

Do not I repeat do NOT drop this unbound dissertation. 

Okay, you're almost about to get it bound. One last flick through to ensure everything is present and correct. Should you read it through again? Can you put yourself through the pain of finding a mistake? There can't be any mistakes, surely not. Just hand it over to this stranger and they'll bind it all together, caging your future in the tight grasp of the education system. 

Ooh look how pretty it looks. You need someone to take a photo of you. You can't ask a stranger, where're your friends to support you through this? Shameless selfie time! 'Look at me I did a thing!'. That diffused some of the tension surrounding this process. 

Now to head to the office and hand it over. Sign some forms. One last flick through. Oh the pride. Oh the relief. Oh God are they coming to take it away from me? I'M NOT READY FOR THIS. Okay, thank you, yes you can have it. Well done little old me. *weeps*

It's out of your hands. *sigh of relief* It's done *slightly distressed sign* What if you left a mistake in there? What if the word count was wrong? WHAT IF YOU PLAGIARISED? *reaches for alcoholic beverage*. You didn't. It's cool. You got this. 

....

Bed time. You achieved something great today. It's handed in. What did you do wrong? What did you do right? What will make you stop thinking about it? Breath. Breath. There's nothing more to be done. *reaches for another alcohol beverage*

Congratulations to everyone who has handed their dissertation in already and good luck to those who haven't. Honestly, my heart was thumping during this process and it took me a few days to stop thinking everything over and over, but once it's done it's done! We're almost there!

MissIsGoode

Alas, the time has come when deadlines and exams are eagerly awaiting our attention, and yet we're all still lacking just a little bit of motivation. Even us third year students; these last few weeks are all that remain of our degrees, and here we sit procrastinating. I should give you some motivational words, but instead I'm going to tell you my preferred ways to procrastinate the day away. 

Netflix - the most obvious option there is. Netflix holds the key to procrastination and don't they just know it. Last weekend I managed to watch an entire season of Gavin and Stacey and Orange is the New Black, followed by two seasons of the Inbetweeners, a few episodes of House and the film Identity Thief. I then switched to BBCi to watch some Don't Tell the Bride. Don't tell me that's not productive.

Online shopping - so the current deals popping up on MyUnidays make it quite hard for me to focus. My wardrobe needs a major clear out, so what better way to start then to just buy new clothes before even clearing out the old ones? If you're in the right mindset online shopping can steal a good few hours of productivity away. Yeah about £60 worth of clothes now sits in my shopping basket on H&M, and another £23 on New Look, but the fact is I've left them to simmer whilst I crack on with my essays. So it's a mixture of procrastination and motivation. Winning.

Social media - how many times have I scrolled through Twitter, Instagram and Facebook? And why am I still scrolling when nothing is happening? Sometimes I find myself going as far as 2 days back just so I don't have to crack on with my essays. In most cases, I've still seen all the posts from 2 days ago, yet that doesn't stop me scrolling.

Eating - my favourite. Yesterday I popped to the shop for some snacks and ended up eating the whole bag of Whether's Originals. I felt very ill and my teeth felt laced with sugar, so what did I do? I went and got more food. If I put on weight during this deadline period then I for one blame everyone but myself.

Blogging - what better way to procrastinate then to write more words? Writing essays is an entirely different ball game to writing what I actually want to write. This doesn't feel like a chore and instead it almost feels like I'm doing something productive.

Searching for holidays - Once again this is almost motivation and procrastination combined. I know I don't have time for a holiday right now, but if I know what's available to me and I can find some dreamy places to make a trip to, then it's a sure fire way to motivate me to get all this work done. Well that's what I usually think but it tends to end up in me just wallowing over the fact that I'm not on a sandy beach in a bikini, or trekking around a historical city. I'm instead in Stoke-on-Trent, where the sun is shining but the air is still freezing cold.

Going to the gym - this is probably another one of my favourite things to do besides essay writing. For many people exercise is a chore but I'd take it over doing work any day!

Drinking - last week the sun was shining and it was actually warm, so how on earth could we shut ourselves inside? When the sun is out don't we all just want to get out on the grass or on the pub benches, with a pint in hand and good company. Okay we all have a lot of work to do but soon many of us will be in 9-5 jobs, so why waste all our time shut inside when we can run free.

Napping - one of the student's favourite. Personally, I'm not much of a day time napper. My curtains are for some illogical reason white and very see-through so it keeps zero sunlight out. However, I have found that napping can really help me...get absolutely nothing done. It's a perfect excuse to whisk your worries away, because whilst you sleep the world is still turning but you're blissfully unaware of it.

What's your favourite way to procrastinate?

As a 21st birthday present my sister and mum took me for a treat at a local salon called Lasting Touch, and I decided to give fake nails a go. What harm could it be? 

I've worn tacky fake nails that you stick on for a night out a few times in the past. Throughout the night they ping off in people's faces, then by the morning you're left with three which fall off as you drag yourself out of bed. You'll later find these wastes of a pound strewn across your room, probably for weeks to come in fact. I stopped wearing them because I thought I was wasting money, and I suppose fake nails applied at a salon are a bit too...

For starters, can I just say a huge thanks to all the lovely ladies at Lasting Touch. I've been there before and my sister's been a few times and they are all just the most lovely and welcoming women. My sister and mum had wonderful back massages whilst I got my nails done and my niece had a mini-mani involving glitter and gemstones!

I was bemused by how much went into a gel manicure. Obviously being a fake nail virgin I hadn't realised the effort and time it takes. My sister thought I'd be hanging around whilst they were still getting massages but it was quite the opposite. I sat chatting away with everyone whilst layer upon layer was applied, moving my hands alternatively out and back under UV lights. I immediately considered that I probably should have researched it more.

I went for French tips because I've always quite liked them, and the end result of my fake nails was brilliant. I was really pleased with them and my sister and mum said they looked great, but as soon as I had them on I considered that I probably wouldn't be getting them again in the future. I realised fake nails are just not me. Some people look amazing and entirely normal with their fake nails on all the time, but I just feel, I guess, fake. And here was the finished result:


So, here are the pros and cons I discovered over the two and a half weeks I had them on...

Pros:
- I can get toast out the toaster like a pro
- I have an excuse not to wash up if there's no rubber gloves about
- I'm also a pro at getting cupcakes out the cake tins
- I'm every cats favourite scratcher - especially behind the ears. Got kitties purring for more.
- These bad boys really won't ping off in anyone's face

Cons:

- My first thought was 'I hope I can get a nail technicians note to get me extenuating circumstances for my dissertation, 'cause damn these are hard to type with' It took me about 4 days to get used to the nails and stop typing like a 70 year old
- Apparently, the fact that every computer has a different sized keyboard means that the learning process of typing with nails begins again each time you have a different keyboard in front of you
- THE PAIN. Oh my gosh, the pain when you catch your nail on something is intense. One of my fingers felt bruised
- By day 16 my hair was taking a bit of a beating. The nails had begun to peel off and every time I ran my fingers through my hair a few strands would get caught under them
- When the nails come off your fingers immediately look like chubby little sausages
- When your nails start to grow they look a bit weird. I'm glad I went for French tips because it wasn't all that noticeable!
- I was a little naughty and removed my nails myself...and this has caused my nails to look pretty battered and beaten. It got to the point where my nails were catching my hair too often and one nail had managed to ping off itself (the one I'd really bashed against something in the first week). Wondering round with a nail missing wasn't the best of looks, and removing them myself possibly wasn't the best idea!

In all honesty, as each day went by I liked my nails more and more. They made my fingers look long and slender, even when I looked slobby at least my hands looked glam and they gave me that extra bit of sass (okay I don't have any sass so they just plain gave me a lil' sass).

Whilst initially I felt they weren't me at all, they really grew on me and I came to like them, though I have to say that I do still stand by the original thought I had when I first got them. They are beautiful, BUT they do damage your nails, they cost more money than I can afford and if you have lots of essays and a dissertation to write, they seriously affect your typing speed - which with deadlines approaching, I really need.

MissIsGoode

In previous posts I've talked about what my first year, second year, and what university in general has taught me about life, but I've neglected to talk about what I've actually learnt about myself over the past few years. 

1. I can achieve much more than I think

3. I'm a confident person

          - When I came to uni I'd been dating one of the most confident people I've ever known, he had a huge group of friends and charisma that filled the room, so, being quite shy anyway, I always felt like a bit of a shadow. Not to blame him at all! But I feel university gave me the chance to spread my wings a bit and stop using someone else's light as an excuse for mine being so dull. Now I speak up in seminars to put my ideas forward and I'm even a student ambassador...I've definitely surprised myself!

Notice how these realisations appear to be getting bigger as I go along? My mind is suddenly coming to life with everything I've never said aloud. 

4. I didn't like who I was trying to be

          - I've always tried to be someone else. I spent my teenage years constantly wishing to be anyone but me and it took a long time to accept me for who I was. I'm not someone who needs to get out of control drunk on a weekly basis, I'm not someone who needs to be surrounded by people all the time, I'm not someone who needs other people to speak for me, and I've truly found out that I don't need to rely on other people for happiness. I've always enjoyed my own company and I thought that made me a loser. I've spent years jumping from having few friends to having loads, and I've now realised I like a quiet life. 

5. Other people's opinions shouldn't have such a big impact

          - I've gone through phases of worrying about what people think of me and then not giving a sh*t, but in all honesty, I've learnt to just not think about it at all. I have moments when I judge people and think something bad, we can't all be angels, and if people have those moments towards me there's nothing I can do to change that. Most people of the same age group don't judge a book by it's cover but by the blurb someone else wrote. Gossip and mistakes follow so many people around and if that's what forms people's opinions of others then there's not much you can do to stop that. These days I keep myself to myself and get on with what I enjoy doing. I've made my mistakes and wouldn't deny them, and I don't want to fuss over regretting them either, because what is that going to change? Just worry about what you think of yourself. If you're happy with who you are as a person, I mean truly happy, then why should someone else tell you who to be?

6. I actually enjoy studying literature 

          - You can read all about this here!

7. I'm excited to get into the world of work
          - When I started my final year I didn't think I was remotely ready to leave student life, but as the year's gone by and plans have started coming together my excitement for the adult world is growing. People older than me have said nothing but negative things about adulthood, but I'm not willing to let other people's desire to remain a student form my opinion of becoming an adult. I like a night out and free time, but honestly I'm ready to sink my teeth into a new challenge and start earning some money!

Thank you university...

What have you learnt about yourself during university?

MissIsGoode

MissIsGoode

You mean it's done something other than give me a coffee addiction, several reference-related panic attacks, a rising blood pressure and a lack of nights out?

Actually that's about all it's given me. 

I joke. 

When I started university the thought of doing a dissertation seemed absolutely impossible to me. As you know from my previous post concerning my course, my very first 1000 word essay was enough to almost drive me out of university. But I didn't give up. By the time I finish my degree I will have done six exams, and excluding my dissertation, I will have written approximately 65,000 words across 22 modules. So really, what's another 10,000 - 12,000 words?

My dissertation has actually made me realise how capable I am. Mine is now near completion and it's a pretty damn good feeling, I can't imagine what it will feel like when I hand it in. But it really does give you a sense of achievement. It gives you more faith in yourself, because in the case of my course, you really can go where ever you want with it. It's like your little baby. But it doesn't cry, or poop or throw up on you. You just do all that for it. The crying is obviously stress induced, the pooping whilst a normal bodily function could also increase due to bad eating habits related to lack of time and lots of stress and the throwing up is likely to happen when you abstain from alcohol for 3 months to dedicate yourself to your work. Then you reach the point when you're in need of a night out, which usually ends with throwing up because you a) stopped working hard and played too hard b) no longer know your limits c) had a dodgy kebab d) it was tactical e) all of the above. 

Writing my dissertation has also given me obsessive organisational skills. I went for a meeting with my dissertation supervisor and said how my last chapter was basically in here *taps on a little yellow notebook*. He looked at me and pointed at it, then asked if all my dissertation notes were in there. I laughed in his face, was he mad? All my notes are in here...

And here...

I have worked for months collecting reference material, copying out quotes from the novels I'm focusing on and from secondary material, then separating these notes out into chapters, then these chapter notes out into paragraphs. And don't forget the spider diagrams. When I said my last chapter was in my little yellow notebook, I only meant the basic ideas which really are what you need to get you started. I think after I explained to him that no, seriously, there's much more to it then this little yellow notebook, he looked a little relieved and a little concerned with the obsessiveness of my note organisation. 

It's also taught me to save like a mad man along the way. I, *touches wood*, have not lost my dissertation along this journey, but I know those who have lost 1000 words here, a paragraph there, a whole chapter WHICH WOULD BE A DISASTER. Honestly, the thought of it ignites more fear within me than a spider. No actually, but it concerns me a great deal. My sympathies go out to those who have lost work along the way, but seriously, back it up like a bad bitch, because it's soul destroying losing all, or even a little bit, of your hard work. 

I've also come to understand that perseverance coffee is key. Perseverance too, you've got to keep cracking at it, but c'mon who really helped you write those 10,000 words? For me coffee is only a slight stimulant, but it's more the act of having a coffee that motivates me. During my time at university I have conditioned myself, like so many students, to associated coffee with work. Even if I only have a granule of coffee in my cup, I'm likely to do a lot more work than if I had a glass of water. Keep calm and grab a coffee.

My dissertation has also taught me how wonderful relaxing can be. And socialising too. But I've only been taught how wonderful these things are because I don't get to do them as much any more. If your dissertation hasn't taken, let's say at least 60% of your life away then you're just not working hard enough, or on the other hand, you've really got your shit together. You'll learn to appreciate free time a lot more, and you'll also realise that you won't utilise this free time like you should and will instead be undoubtedly watching Netflix. 

My dissertation has taught me that 10,000 words really isn't enough to talk about something you're actually really interested in. Throughout university my essays have been as little as 700 to as large as 3,500 and each time I can tell that the depth of my research and/or analysis is going to be reflected in my word count. In my case, if I still have more to say after I've ran out of words to say it, I'm likely more interested in the topic, and therefore have researched it more, and put just a little more time into it. My dissertation has taught me that really, I should have put this much effort into every essay I've done during university, and that if I had I would have seen a marked difference in my grades. But nonetheless, being so near completion of my dissertation has taught me to have a hell of a lot more pride in your work. 

And of course, my dissertation has taught me so much about my chosen author and trauma theory, both of which I had very little to no knowledge of when I started my project.

What has your dissertation taught you?

MissIsGoode

What is it like to study a subject you knew next to nothing about when you started it? I'm sure this is a question rarely asked of students because, of course, we pick subjects to study that we have experience of doing or plenty of knowledge of. Well, at least enough to know how to write an essay in that subject anyway.

I, on the other hand, and I'm sure this is true of others too, had a seriously basic level of knowledge when I chose to do a degree in English and American Literature. So how on earth did I even get into university to do a literature degree? This was a genuine question one of my lecturers asked, and he also said, had he been aware of the fact I'd never studied literature at A Level, he would have been likely to turn me down (though he did add that I'm a wonderful person and student, whose almost consistent 2:1 grades obviously show I'm capable of studying literature).

source

In my application to university I gave a convincing argument about both my interest and my capability to succeed in the field of literature. Enough to get me 4 offers during my UCAS applications anyway (one turned me down because I'd actually applied to the wrong one - my bad - it totally would have been a full house if I had got the correct university). 

So - what is it actually like to study something that you have so little knowledge of?

Now, as you've probably guessed, literature is insanely vast, and if you've only just dipped your baby toe in when you take the step to studying it at university, then you're going to feel something pull at your feet and drag you right down the rabbit hole. 

Attending seminars was probably the hardest thing for me. I lacked confidence when I began university as it was, but in the field of literature I was a mere peasant in comparison to my peers. I could barely pipe up and say a thing for the entire year, partially because I found it quite a struggle to keep up with the reading load, and also because everyone was so smart. How did they know what to say? On most occasions I didn't even know who the author was, even if they were well known. I had the disadvantage of not being forced to read some of the author's many aren't interested in studying in their spare time at A Level and GCSE, so I wasn't "educated" as it were. I knew some big names in the field of modern American literature, but not the old boys. Luckily, on the American literature side a lot of people were as ignorant as I was, so I felt slightly more at home there. 

When my first assignment came in, I panicked. I stared at the question, at the passage we'd been given to analyse, back at the book that I hadn't had time to read all the way through and then felt like I wanted to cry. Had I made the wrong decision? Was I going to fail every assignment thrown at me? At this time I also broke up with my long term boyfriend and my confidence in my decision to come to university plummeted. I scheduled a meeting with one of the tutors who seemed like she would say some kind words, and in fact, she said some extremely helpful words that contributed to the confidence that kept me going. Not only did she assure me that I was capable, but also that I was at an advantage in some respect. I was a clean slate whose ideas and writing weren't tainted by mistakes I'd made at school or college, and who hadn't been taught things that often university tells you is utter rubbish. As a college English Language student I could take my essays off in different directions, and explore words and sentences perhaps more thoroughly than some literature students could. Whether she was saying this because I was sobbing out pathetic little tears or because it was actually true, I still don't know. But she wasn't wrong, I was capable.

If anything it wasn't my knowledge of the subject, or lack of it, that held me back during my first year  of university but it was my self-belief. It was also the fact that I let the party side of university sweep me off my feet and distract me from throwing myself head first into my degree. I grazed 2:1's and mid 2:2's throughout first year, thankful that it didn't contribute to my degree, but also thankful that within a year I had already learnt more about literature than I ever thought I would know. 

By second year, whilst partying a little less my interest in literature blossomed. I started to realise what genre and period of literature interested me. Having not had to suffer any of the abysmal A Level literature exams or essays on authors I didn't even like, most writers were completely new territory to me. Maybe having knowledge or having worked on an author before coming to university was advantageous for some, but on other occasions people were finding that their A Level ideas were being shot down by lecturers. I was almost glad I didn't have knowledge and that my ideas were at a university standard, but at the same time I recognised people's essays and class contributions were very much influenced by their previous knowledge. 

Of course, it doesn't work like this for everyone and the only way I managed to get in and come to this point now 98 days away from my graduation was by learning the things I had to, to improve and to keep up. I was already so many steps behind everyone else when I came to university, but most of my lecturers haven't scolded me for being so uneducated in the field of literature but instead applauded me for working hard to get to where I have, and achieve pretty consistent grades. So what, I'm not the smartest in the class and I'm not even half as well read as the rest, I know how to write an essay, I know how to analyse a book and get down and dirty with the themes. 

When it comes to the American literature side of my degree, it's probably been the part that really has spurred me on throughout these three years. I never really had the opportunity to read American literature and was never encouraged to do so by others, so when I borrowed some novels from my boyfriend's mum during college, I became acquainted with the American writer who is now the focus of my dissertation, Paul Auster. 

So what's it like to study a subject you had very little knowledge of before you started? Rewarding, refreshing, challenging and a real roller-coaster. If I had had more knowledge before I came to university and more practice in writing about literature my grades would be a few marks, maybe even a whole grade higher but you know what? I'm damn proud that I've achieved what I have, and I wouldn't change my decision to do a degree in literature, because it's opened my eyes to the world I knew I was interested in, but now know I really do love.

My advice is if you have passion and self-belief, and you can prove that you can achieve what you're setting out to, then go for it. You shouldn't let education hold you back, because you'd be surprised where a positive and convincing personal statement could get you.

P.S in case you don't know, like I didn't, John Milton was an English poet well known for his blank verse poem Paradise Lost. I studied this in second year and I think quite a few people were shocked that I'd never even read it and if I'm honest, I hadn't really heard of Milton. I told you, I was a literature peasant. 

MissIsGoode

MissIsGoode