Everyone Has a Past

By Issy Goode - 20:08

It may sound like a weird life lesson, because of course everyone does, but when it comes to university all the people you live with and meet are strangers. You get to know them in the rush of freshers week or meet them half way down the line where you can learn a little or a lot and sometimes it's easy to forget that they have a life back home, or have, even in the short time they've been at university, created a few memories for themselves already...

What I'm mainly referring to here is relationships. With my friends I've had countless conversations concerning 'numbers'. When it comes to sexual relationships it's likely that most people keep count. The exchanging of sexual histories in a relationship can often be something quite serious, or sometimes something that can simply be dropped into conversation out of curiosity, but either way you may not like the answer.

Sometimes, the hardest thing to remember with these previous girlfriends/boyfriends/one night stands or what ever they may have been in relation to your latest squeeze is that they're in the past. 

I'm guilty of forgetting this, and I'll raise my hand and also admit that I've been guilty of forgetting this on more than one occasion. Once you have that number, it can play on your mind who, why so many, why so few, do they go here, do I know them. It's stupid, but you can let it eat at you bit by bit before being able to realise that they're with you. Whatever you do, don't ask who. You don't need to know, and they don't need to know who you've been with either. Names and faces can make things uncomfortable. And if you already do know someone they've been with, don't let it play on your mind. There's a reason for that person being in the past, and the worst thing you can do is let either of your pasts affect your future together. 

Everyone has a past, some people may not be proud of their's and some may be very pleased, but the fact is everyone becomes the person they are from the experiences in their past, and if you like them for the person they are, you've got no reason to be uncomfortable with their past, no matter the number. 

So, learn to accept that everyone has a past, because there's nothing you can change about yours or anyone else's, so why dwell on it?

The only thing you should focus on now is your relationships present and it's future.

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  1. Numbers are just that, numbers. It's pointless to judge you by them. Past can be haunting but it's better to have bad experiences from which we actually learned something than a "clean record".

    1. Couldn't agree more. I don't understand why people judge someone by the amount of people they've slept with, it doesn't make you any less or more of a person. The past helps shape you, and I think sexual history shouldn't scare anyone away or make someone more or less appealing. Thanks for commenting!


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