I recently went back to look through my old posts and it got me thinking about how my attitude's developed throughout university. I've had my drunken escapades, and my studious moments, but all in all, I don't think I've quite put across who I really am. Don't get me wrong - I don't even know 100% who I am yet, but I can definitely open up a bit more to my lovely readers.
So here's ten delightfully honest facts about me:
1. I'm no party animal
Whether you look back through this blog, or have known me personally since the start of university, you'll assume I love to party, and yes I do, but I'm honestly not the alcohol induced party goer I came across as at the start of university, and I certainly wasn't like that beforehand. Freshers' week can easily absorb you in a party lifestyle, something I hadn't really had before, so I became one of the mental ones who went out three times a week and wouldn't miss a decent night out - or even a rubbish one. I'm actually incredibly docile and I love to lounge around in my PJ's, watching films, I love going on walks and traipsing through the countryside on my own little adventures (this is starting to sound like a dating ad already). Basically, I like a simple life not a party life.
2. I'm a mixture of Gretchin Weiners, Regina George and Cady Herring.
A lot of people tend to confide in me, which I always find flattering. I hold a lot of secrets, honest truths, and often even rumours and gossip. It's been the same since school, I was always in the know, but never desperate to be. Whilst I am extremely trustworthy sometimes gossip can get the better of me.
'That's why her hair's so big, it's full of secrets'
People have told me that if our group of friends were Mean Girls, I'd be Regina George. I'm initially offended, but in fact, I can be a total bitch if people get on the wrong side of me, unfortunately.
But ultimately, I'm a 'home schooled jungle freak' - no I wasn't home schooled nor was I brought up in a jungle, but in the past I've done stupid things for friendship or popularity. I've also had moments where I've followed the crowd rather than stayed true to myself. I prefer to avoid confrontation, but I'll admit to my mistakes and always make up for them.
3. I don't have much fashion sense
Most days, I tend to just grab anything and whack it together - but I do this several times until I'm satisfied with something that as soon as I leave the house I'll regret wearing. There's rarely a day where I don't regret my outfit decision. I have an average amount of clothes, not a lot that really match together. A lot of my clothes are a few years out of date, and I've never kept up with what's 'in'. Whilst I love to look good, I don't always tend to.
4. I believe in the supernatural
On my Mum's side some of the family are quite spiritual, but it's never been forced upon us. My Mum has always been open about her beliefs and my beliefs tend to be more so paranoia then anything else. One of my favourite TV shows, Supernatural, doesn't exactly help calm my nerves about what else is out there, oh if only the Winchesters could save me. Or climb into bed with me. Just Dean. C'mon, hop in.
It also contributes to my fears of living alone and of the dark. I'm a big wimp really.
5. I'm my own biggest critic
But I don't tend to voice it. In my head I'm forever disappointed in myself. When I haven't worked hard enough at uni I'm filled with regret but vocally say, 'well I've learnt my lesson'. Whilst I don't believe it's right to regret things, and should simply learn, for the short 19 years I've lived I'm still kicking myself for the things I apologised and made up for ten years ago. I don't kick myself enough in my opinion, so in my second year, I plan to put everything I've got into my studies.
6. I'm a combination of super lazy and super obsessive
Basically, if I don't exercise, I can laze around day after day, but if I start exercising and get into a proper routine, it becomes an obsessive one. As I'm not overweight, it's not necessarily a good thing, and I don't tend to eat a lot when I'm not at university either, so it can be my health's downfall. I've always struggled to find a happy medium and many people I know are just like me and they've also headed towards going too far. I can't find the right healthy diet combined with the appropriate exercise, but I'm sure I'll get there.
7. My main goal in life is to travel and push myself beyond my limits
I'm terrified of heights - but I intend to go sky diving. I'm terrified of being in new places alone - but I desperately want to teach in Thailand next year. I'm scared of deep water - but I will go diving, and get myself comfortable with the sea.
'The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself'
And I'm a big believer in that. I do fear things, but I don't want to allow that fear to stop me. I'd be disappointed in myself if I didn't do everything I wanted to in life and settled for anything too simple and dull. Whilst I do like the simple life, my idea of a simple life is seeing as many countries as possible and never stop. That's simple and perfect in my world.
8. I love money
I've always considered the beauty of a minimalistic lifestyle. It sounds so peaceful, but in all honesty, I love money far too much. I guess I am a bit materialistic too, but I don't have big brands in my wardrobe, on my feet or anywhere in my house. I'd prefer to have money to spend on amazing holidays, trips around the country and world and simply be able to experience the most amazing things the world has to offer. Rather than spend a few hundred on clothes, I'd go somewhere amazing.
9. I'm terrified of getting a divorce
I've never experienced a divorce and I'm not married yet myself (and don't plan to be for a good ten years). I'm fortunate enough to have parents that have been happily married for 25 years. I understand divorces are sometimes necessary in life sometimes but I've always hoped that when I get married, I won't get a divorce. I can't predict what will happen of course, but I hope I find the right person that I can grow old with.
10. I'm not a quit-er, but I always have excuses
It's very rare for me to get up and quit something without good reason - drums I felt I outgrew (I in fact just started going to so many parties amongst doing my GCSE's I never found the time to drum - boom, excuse no. 1). With Karate, my club closed down and I didn't know of any other's that did my style in the area (excuse no. 2). I get to (or back to) everything eventually, but sometimes I have a long list of excuses of why something can't be done at that very minute, and it's always frustrated me. It's a habit I desperately need to break.
And breath. 10 totally honestly facts about myself.
Opening up is easy (I lie, this took me 5 days to write), what ten honest interesting facts would you share?